Kelly's Korner Komplaints Kontinued

THAT'S LIFE I GUESS

Well, the day for my Doctors appointment with my back arrived. I had it written down that it was at 10:30. I got there at 10:25, and they said it was actually scheduled for 11:15. No problem, I would rather be a little early than too late. 11:15 came. I had reached my appointed time.

12:00 noon came, and I called my wife and said, "I haven't even gone back yet, so I won't be able to meet you during lunch."

At 1:00 I called her back and asked how lunch went, and said that I still had not gone back to see the doctor. It so happened that I got a big chair when I came in that was fairly comfortable to sit in, so I actually dozed a little. If I got up for any reason, like to get a drink of water, I kept one eye on the chair (which is not easy to do) and rushed back to it as quickly as I could, so no one would steal it.

Around 1:30 I asked the nurse about how far down the list I was. She said that there was one more before me.

At about 1:55 I was really needing to go to the bathroom (two cups of coffee, you know how it is), but I was afraid to go into the restroom because they might call me while I was there. Finally, just before I began to dance the "boy-do-I-have-to-go" dance, they called me back. I went to the room in the back and asked if I had time to go to the bathroom. They said I had plenty of time. The nearest restroom was back out in the lobby. I made my way as quickly as I can move (which is not very quickly at the moment.) When I reentered the lobby several said, "Boy, that was quick!" to which I replied, "No, I haven't seen him, I just had to go."

Well, when you went out the door to the lobby it locked behind you (I guess to protect the staff from the angry horde that has been waiting for hours.) I knocked on it and finally one of the staff opened it to let me in.

I went back into the room to wait. I read every poster and looked at every medicine advertisement. 3 hours later (actually 15 minutes) the PA (Physicians Assistant) walked in. I knew him; his son and Chris played football together when they were in the lower grades. He asked how Chris was, and said that they had just been talking about Chris the day before, and his ability to grow facial hair. He said that they believed he had facial hair when he was six. Then, he asked how I was doing, and I bit back a sarcastic response, like "I am fine I just wanted to see your lovely face," or "My back has been hurting, but now I have SBSS from sitting in your lobby so long" (SBSS-Severe Behind Soreness Syndrome).

He told me that I was going to have to have a MRI (magnetic resonace imaging - or something like that) with contrast. That means that what is usually a totally non-invasive test will now include the introduction of a foreign substance into my body with a (gulp!) needle. Oh fun.

I knew that is what they would say. I have had many MRIs in the past, though most of the time without the contrast. In order for a doctor to order an MRI now, it practically takes an act of Congress, because of insurance requirements. I figure they have to get President Bush to sign an executive order to authorize one now. "Are you absolutely sure he has a problem?" How do you answer that when that is what the MRI is supposed to tell you. I think that MRI can also stand for MOST RIDICULOUS INSURANCE, too.

When the PA went to leave, I went with him. I did see the doctor out in the hall, and he said, "You all got it worked out I guess." I waited from 10:25 till 3:00 to see the doctor for ten seconds, and the PA for five minutes. That's life.

Then the lady behind the desk said, "What is your copay." Not, I will get you the MRI appointment. Not, "I hope we can help you." No - "what is your copay, and how are you paying it today." Thanks for all your concern. Then she says, we will have to prequalify you so that we can do the MRI, and I'll call and tell you when it will be. Prequalify - sounds like those offers for a new credit card I get on email. Anyway, I paid them $25, about $2.50 for every second I saw the doctor. And I left.

That was yesterday. Still haven't heard from them today. I called and they let me leave a message asking if they had set up the MRI yet.

Oh well, that's life I guess.