My wife and I have been married now over 32 years. Do we have the "perfect" marriage. I would say yes and no. It is perfect in that I believe it is the kind of marriage that God intends. It is imperfect in that it is made up of two HUMANS, with all of our weaknesses and mistakes.
I guess that one of the things that makes marriage so amazing is that both partners are individuals, yet they are one.
For instance, Barbara has never asked me to share my fried chicken livers with her (OK, stop gagging). And she can safely make a coconut cake and I will never touch a bite. I absolutely love sports. I could watch a tiddly wink match. I will come home from a ball game and watch the replay on TV. She would just as soon be beaten with rods as to have to sit through a ballgame. I don't believe in leaving one until it is completely over - the last out recorded or the final whistle blown.
She is quiet and hates to draw attention to herself. I am constantly in the public eye, and always talking. It is interesting, however, to note that she was much more shy when we met, and I was much more boisterous and loud. As we began to date, and then married, I watched both of us change. She became a little more outgoing. I settled down some. Many of the things that I am worst at, and simply cannot handle, she can handle. The opposite is also true.We have made each other better adjusted people. As the song from the play Wicked says, Because of her, I have changed for the better.
We are individuals with our own thoughts and feelings. However, we stand firmly united as one on some very important things.
- We are united in the desire to put God first. I did not say that we are always totally successful, but we both desire that more than anything else.
- We stand firmly committed to each other and to this marriage. I can truthfully say that there has never been even a single moment when we even remotely considered ending this marriage (although thoughts of murder may have run through her head once in a while in my more blatantly foolish moments). Divorce is not a word in our marital vocabulary.
- We have determined to love each other. Neither of us has ever even remotely thought about being unfaithful to the other. We both came into marriage sexually pure, and that allowed us to truly become one flesh as we dedicated ourselves to only each other. I cannot think of anything that to me is lower and more despicable than a mate cheating. (Obviously, God seems to concur, given that being cheated on by a mate is the only acceptable reason for divorce in His sight.)
She has stood by my side and been my support through the hardest of times. She is filled with a righteous indignation against anyone that she feels has misused me. She is truly the completion of me, the thing that makes me whole.
I think that we have grown more and more alike through the years. Yes, we can complete each other's sentences, and almost read each other's minds. But we still have the little surprises, and she still amazes me from time to time with something new and different.
We are both a little different from some folks. Both of us can sit down and watch a "man-movie," an action-thriller, etc. Her favorite movie is Gladiator. And then we can turn around and watch a "chick-flick" and both enjoy it thoroughly. While You Were Sleeping and You've Got Mail come to my mind. We both enjoy each kind, even though we are "supposed to" only like one kind.
"Of two - one flesh." What a marvelous plan! I mourn and feel sorry for those who have not experienced this. It breaks my heart that so many have either not been taught this, or have ignored the teaching. I tell couples, when I perform a wedding ceremony, that I am not using staples to seal this union because they can easily be removed, but I am using a powerful permanent glue that will not let go. That is the attitude I want them to have in their new marriage. After 32 years, the glue in our marriage is still holding strong, and is getting stronger every day. And we thank God every day for this wonderful fact.
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