Kelly's Korner Komplaints Kontinued (Again)

Well, Here is What I Know
I did get the report from the Doctor the other day, actually from the Physician's Assistant. He started out by saying, "Your lower back is a mess!" He proceeded to tell me that I had three "bulging discs" in my lower back. I guess if you are going to do it, do it right. I have, according to him, a small, and a medium, and a large bulging disc. The best I can gather from the internet, most of the time "bulging disc" is virtually synonymous with "ruptured disc," especially if there is any pain in the hip and leg, and the psiatic(sp?) nerve. I certainly have that.

If I have three now, then that makes a total of, let's see: 1974 - 1 disc, 1980 - 1 disc, 1986 - 2 discs, 1992 - 1 disc, 2003 - 1 disc, 2007 - 3 discs - a total of 9. I had surgery in 74,80,86, and 92. I had injections that helped it in 2003.

Before my surgery in 1986 Barbara asked the Doctor, "Can't you just put a zipper in? It would make it easier next time!"

The PA told me, however, that even in just the last three or four years that there have been new ways to treat ruptured discs that have come about. I have to say that I like the attitude of this Neurosurgeons office - surgery is only an absolute final, we've exhausted all other types of treatment action. Back in the twentieth century surgery was, it seemed, the first option.

I also am glad (I know, this is supposed to be a komplaint, but bear with me) that MRIs are now so available and possible. Back in the last century the Mylogram was the only available tool to make certain whether there was a rupture or not.

Let me describe a mylogram for you. Remember that you would not be having this done at all if it wasn't for the fact that your back and leg are killing you with pain (figurative expression there). So they put you on this table in the x-ray department and make you pull your legs up to your chest in a fetal type position, and proceed to stick a very large needle into your spine. Of course, they deaden the area. However, one of the strangest, and most painful, experiences I have ever had was when, in doing the injection, they touched a nerve and my leg would involuntarily jump. Of course, it felt I had stuck my toe in the electric socket. Then they x-ray you, and then tell you (at least this is what they told you back in the former century), "By the way, don't raise your head for the next several hours, or you will get a horrendous headache." So, you would spend the next several hours in one position, which, of course made your back hurt even worse. It was not a fun experience.

But now they do the MRI. It is amazing how much even they have changed over the past few years. I remember the first one I had. I was stuffed into the torpedo tube (at least that is what it looked like), from head to toe. They had a little air blowing, kind of like on an airplane, so that I did not feel totally engulfed. I am not a little fellow, (you know I am weight-challenged) so my arms were stuck beside me, unmovable. Then I would lay there for what seemed an eternity, listening to the weirdest bumping and roaring sounds. Again, I would be very sore by the time the test was done.

Last week, they took me into the MRI and it was what they call an "open" MRI. My head was not even in the machine. On top of that they gave me a set of headphones and played music so that the banging and roaring of the machine was minimal. I even went to sleep for part of it. I was still very sore by the time it was over, because you are not allowed to move, but it was much better than it was just a few years ago. I don't think it took as long either.

Anyway, the bottom line is that they said we are going to try other things besides surgery to get these discs to heal. I still wonder if Barb's idea of a zipper isn't a good one, however.

That's my Komplaint for today.
Have a good one.

Kelly's Korner Kontinuous Koments

SOME THOUGHTS ON AMERICA

Someone sent me the application on facebook that is a map where you can mark where you have been, where you have lived, and where you would like to go. I marked mine. I realized that, thanks to being a "military brat," and then doing mission work that I had managed to get someone else to pay for me to have gone to five different continents. I have never been to Australia (would love to go there) and I have never been to Antarctica (don't have any real desire to go there). I have lived mostly in the south, except for some stints in foreign places when I was a kid, like Germany, Japan, and Illinois. Over the years I have been able to travel at least some in a good part of the United States. (I did walk out the door of the airport in Hawaii so that I could say I had been there.

I have said all of that to simply say that I have seen America as I have travelled, America as I was leaving, and America as I was returning. Filling out the map just made me think about some things.

• AMERICA IS A WONDERFUL COUNTRY. I have always contended that every young person should be required to leave America for a few weeks at some point, and to go to some place in the world that is NOT 5-star. They should have to walk the smelly, dirty, animal, animal waste, infested streets of a place like South India. They should have to take an "Indian shower" - (a bucket of water with a cup). They should have to use an Indian toilet - (two foot holders on either side of a hole in the ground - you just hope you've got good aim!) They should be required to look into the face of true poverty. I know we talk about poverty in this country, but the truth is that I do not believe that any American really knows what true poverty is. It always amuses me when I hear someone talking about how impoverished he/she is - on his/her cell phone, as he/she purchases a large roast, a buggy full of other items, milk (the new gold standard, but that is another story), and the requisite cigarettes and alcohol, and then climbs into his/her car, and go to his/her house. But all of that aside, we are truly the most blessed country in the world. Economically we have so much. Socially and politically we have the right to express our opinions and beliefs. We should be so thankful for what we have, and realize our blessings. I also believe that this is a wonderful country because there are a lot of good people in it. I know, the headlines are about the bad ones. They steal all the thunder and gain all the attention. But so many Americans will come together in time of trouble. I still believe that most Americans are decent caring people. I have seen so much in the rest of the world, I will certainly, gladly, take my chances with "my fellow Americans."
• I DO BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE MAJOR THREATS AHEAD FOR AMERICA .I don't mean global warming. (By the way, the "global warming" folks, led by the great inventor of the internet, Al Gore, are having a heyday right now because of the 100+ degree temperatures. Of course, there were about this many 100+ degree days here in Montgomery back in 1954, but that doesn't matter - oh well, another subject for another day-truth is, I don't really believe it a major threat at all!). I do not believe that terrorism is the greatest threat to this country. I believe that we had better be vigilant or we will suffer greatly because of terrorism, but that is not the greatest threat to this country. I do not believe that atheistic teaching and the strongly anti-religious movement in this country is the greatest threat to America. I do believe that there are those who want to remove religious freedom and destroy the right to practice our faith. This is a realistic fear and threat, I am convinced. But it is not the greatest that America faces. I do not believe that the immorality that is so rampant, and the militancy of some for immoral practices is the greatest threat to this country. It is true that the scriptures say that "righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people." I think that America can be destroyed by this overwhelming of immorality. But I still don't believe that it is the greatest threat.
• WHAT DO I BELIEVE IS THE GREATEST THREAT TO AMERICA? There is an old story where a teacher asks what a student thought was the major problem in the world. He answered, "I don't know, and I don't care." She replied, "Exactly!" While all of the things (except global warming) in the previous paragraph are grave threats, none of them can prevail unless we are IGNORANT and APATHETIC. My wife and I were talking about our concerns for the future. What bothers us more than anything is to see in so many young folks the unwillingness to learn about what is going on in the world, and more than that the absolute failure to even care about what is going on. The dangers we have mentioned, along with others that could be mentioned, will grow and explode and ultimately will destroy this country - unless we are a people who are aware and who care. I will contend with anyone that the greatest danger to this wonderful country is IGNORANCE AND APATHY. That is the biggest battle that we must fight! It breaks my heart to think of this country in ruins, of true poverty possessing its people, of the precious freedoms destroyed and gone. We had better become educated and educate; we had better care, and teach others to care. Then this land can stand.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND AND KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING?

DO YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT I AM SAYING?

If so let us stand together against those forces that would destroy "America the Beautiful."

And that's my Kommentary for today.

Kelly's Korner Komplaints Kontinued

THAT'S LIFE I GUESS

Well, the day for my Doctors appointment with my back arrived. I had it written down that it was at 10:30. I got there at 10:25, and they said it was actually scheduled for 11:15. No problem, I would rather be a little early than too late. 11:15 came. I had reached my appointed time.

12:00 noon came, and I called my wife and said, "I haven't even gone back yet, so I won't be able to meet you during lunch."

At 1:00 I called her back and asked how lunch went, and said that I still had not gone back to see the doctor. It so happened that I got a big chair when I came in that was fairly comfortable to sit in, so I actually dozed a little. If I got up for any reason, like to get a drink of water, I kept one eye on the chair (which is not easy to do) and rushed back to it as quickly as I could, so no one would steal it.

Around 1:30 I asked the nurse about how far down the list I was. She said that there was one more before me.

At about 1:55 I was really needing to go to the bathroom (two cups of coffee, you know how it is), but I was afraid to go into the restroom because they might call me while I was there. Finally, just before I began to dance the "boy-do-I-have-to-go" dance, they called me back. I went to the room in the back and asked if I had time to go to the bathroom. They said I had plenty of time. The nearest restroom was back out in the lobby. I made my way as quickly as I can move (which is not very quickly at the moment.) When I reentered the lobby several said, "Boy, that was quick!" to which I replied, "No, I haven't seen him, I just had to go."

Well, when you went out the door to the lobby it locked behind you (I guess to protect the staff from the angry horde that has been waiting for hours.) I knocked on it and finally one of the staff opened it to let me in.

I went back into the room to wait. I read every poster and looked at every medicine advertisement. 3 hours later (actually 15 minutes) the PA (Physicians Assistant) walked in. I knew him; his son and Chris played football together when they were in the lower grades. He asked how Chris was, and said that they had just been talking about Chris the day before, and his ability to grow facial hair. He said that they believed he had facial hair when he was six. Then, he asked how I was doing, and I bit back a sarcastic response, like "I am fine I just wanted to see your lovely face," or "My back has been hurting, but now I have SBSS from sitting in your lobby so long" (SBSS-Severe Behind Soreness Syndrome).

He told me that I was going to have to have a MRI (magnetic resonace imaging - or something like that) with contrast. That means that what is usually a totally non-invasive test will now include the introduction of a foreign substance into my body with a (gulp!) needle. Oh fun.

I knew that is what they would say. I have had many MRIs in the past, though most of the time without the contrast. In order for a doctor to order an MRI now, it practically takes an act of Congress, because of insurance requirements. I figure they have to get President Bush to sign an executive order to authorize one now. "Are you absolutely sure he has a problem?" How do you answer that when that is what the MRI is supposed to tell you. I think that MRI can also stand for MOST RIDICULOUS INSURANCE, too.

When the PA went to leave, I went with him. I did see the doctor out in the hall, and he said, "You all got it worked out I guess." I waited from 10:25 till 3:00 to see the doctor for ten seconds, and the PA for five minutes. That's life.

Then the lady behind the desk said, "What is your copay." Not, I will get you the MRI appointment. Not, "I hope we can help you." No - "what is your copay, and how are you paying it today." Thanks for all your concern. Then she says, we will have to prequalify you so that we can do the MRI, and I'll call and tell you when it will be. Prequalify - sounds like those offers for a new credit card I get on email. Anyway, I paid them $25, about $2.50 for every second I saw the doctor. And I left.

That was yesterday. Still haven't heard from them today. I called and they let me leave a message asking if they had set up the MRI yet.

Oh well, that's life I guess.

Kelly's Korner: It's All About Me!

It's All About Me!
It is all about me.

The problem is that if I am not careful, I forget what is all about me. I think that the world ought to be entertaining me. I think that everything ought to focus on me. When I am driving down the road and someone cuts me off, I get angry. As a matter of fact I often wonder why there is so much traffic on the road, when they are just in my way getting where I want or need to go. I don't want someone to eat the last biscuit, because I want the last biscuit. I want the remote control so I can watch what I want to watch, and so I am in control. Surely, when I state my opinion that ought to be the final word on the matter. After all, it is me!

However, watch the change in terminology that sometimes occurs. "Look what my son did" means that he has done something outstanding and good. In that case we might concede a little with "Look what our son did." "Look at what your son did" means that he has really blown it, and of course he got that from your part of raising him, not from me! When there is something to complain about the famous "you" and "they" come into play. You know, the words that leave "me" out of the equation. "You folks are always leaving a mess." "They just aren't doing anything for the young people." You know, all the "yous" and "theys" by which we blame the ills of the world on everybody but "me." It comes down to "that ain't my job" and "I am not responsible."

I am fearful that we have raised a couple of generations now of young people who know only the wrong "me." Do this for me. Don't blame me. All that matters is me and mine. Many have not been taught the concept of individual responsibility. It has led to many who blame everyone else, and everything else for what is wrong in their lives and in their worlds. They expect to sit back and be entertained, in education, in religion (particularly in worship), and in their daily experiences in life. When two people marry who have emphasized the wrong "me" divorce is a forgone conclusion. It is not the pressures of Hollywood that causes Hollywood divorces to be more common than the cold, it is the emphasis on the wrong "me!"

If "me" is so bad, how can I say it's all about me. Well, there is a bad "me," but there is also a good one:

• IT IS UP TO ME. Now there is a good "me." If it needs to be done I am not going to sit back and wait for someone else to do it. I am going to realize my responsibility and do it. I have often told the story of the time when I was a teenager that our youth group divided up the yard of the church building to mow. The girls took one side and the boys the other. After we finished there was one huge blade of grass standing in the boys area. The boys started arguing, and I thought some were going to come to blows over who had left that blade standing there. One teenage girl who walked by looked out and listened a minute, and said, "Looks to me like all of you left it!" Wow. The guys were to busy saying "it wasn't me" for anyone to say "It is up to me to take care of it.
• THE BLAME BELONGS TO ME. It is a good "me" when I stand up and understand that I cannot blame everyone or anyone else for my decisions and actions. When I make a mistake, I need to be willing to admit it, and then I can do what I can to correct it. Until I admit that I am responsible for my own actions, I will never correct them.
• YOU CAN CALL ON ME. In scripture there are several instances where someone has responded to having their name called, by God or someone else in authority, who responded along the lines of "Here am I, send me." The fact is that there are usually plenty of people who are willing to complain about what "they" are not doing. There are plenty of advisers that can tell you what ought to be done. But, thanks be to God, there are a few who are always standing by, with the "you can call on me" attitude. It applies in all walks of life, but particularly in the church.

Do you know that when I stand before God and His Son on the judgment day, it will all be about me. Have I dwelt on the servant "me" that is dedicated to Him and to accomplishing His will, that has submitted to God's will and thereby taken advantage of the blood shed to buy me back from sin, or have I used "me" as an excuse, or put "me" above service to God and to my fellow man?

Yes, since God has done His part - where I spend eternity is all about me - and all up to me.

Lord, please help me to be the me I ought to be.

Kelly's Korner Komment

THEY TWAIN SHALL BE ONE FLESH

The scriptures use this phrase consistently, beginning in the garden of Eden, concerning marriage. Marriage should be such a "magical" thing. It is a wondrous thing, when it is done right.

My wife and I have been married now over 32 years. Do we have the "perfect" marriage. I would say yes and no. It is perfect in that I believe it is the kind of marriage that God intends. It is imperfect in that it is made up of two HUMANS, with all of our weaknesses and mistakes.

I guess that one of the things that makes marriage so amazing is that both partners are individuals, yet they are one.

For instance, Barbara has never asked me to share my fried chicken livers with her (OK, stop gagging). And she can safely make a coconut cake and I will never touch a bite. I absolutely love sports. I could watch a tiddly wink match. I will come home from a ball game and watch the replay on TV. She would just as soon be beaten with rods as to have to sit through a ballgame. I don't believe in leaving one until it is completely over - the last out recorded or the final whistle blown.

She is quiet and hates to draw attention to herself. I am constantly in the public eye, and always talking. It is interesting, however, to note that she was much more shy when we met, and I was much more boisterous and loud. As we began to date, and then married, I watched both of us change. She became a little more outgoing. I settled down some. Many of the things that I am worst at, and simply cannot handle, she can handle. The opposite is also true.We have made each other better adjusted people. As the song from the play Wicked says, Because of her, I have changed for the better.

We are individuals with our own thoughts and feelings. However, we stand firmly united as one on some very important things.

• We are united in the desire to put God first. I did not say that we are always totally successful, but we both desire that more than anything else.
• We stand firmly committed to each other and to this marriage. I can truthfully say that there has never been even a single moment when we even remotely considered ending this marriage (although thoughts of murder may have run through her head once in a while in my more blatantly foolish moments). Divorce is not a word in our marital vocabulary.
• We have determined to love each other. Neither of us has ever even remotely thought about being unfaithful to the other. We both came into marriage sexually pure, and that allowed us to truly become one flesh as we dedicated ourselves to only each other. I cannot think of anything that to me is lower and more despicable than a mate cheating. (Obviously, God seems to concur, given that being cheated on by a mate is the only acceptable reason for divorce in His sight.)

She has stood by my side and been my support through the hardest of times. She is filled with a righteous indignation against anyone that she feels has misused me. She is truly the completion of me, the thing that makes me whole.

I think that we have grown more and more alike through the years. Yes, we can complete each other's sentences, and almost read each other's minds. But we still have the little surprises, and she still amazes me from time to time with something new and different.

We are both a little different from some folks. Both of us can sit down and watch a "man-movie," an action-thriller, etc. Her favorite movie is Gladiator. And then we can turn around and watch a "chick-flick" and both enjoy it thoroughly. While You Were Sleeping and You've Got Mail come to my mind. We both enjoy each kind, even though we are "supposed to" only like one kind.

"Of two - one flesh." What a marvelous plan! I mourn and feel sorry for those who have not experienced this. It breaks my heart that so many have either not been taught this, or have ignored the teaching. I tell couples, when I perform a wedding ceremony, that I am not using staples to seal this union because they can easily be removed, but I am using a powerful permanent glue that will not let go. That is the attitude I want them to have in their new marriage. After 32 years, the glue in our marriage is still holding strong, and is getting stronger every day. And we thank God every day for this wonderful fact.