Barbara Kelly's Reflections on Life - Entry Two

Possibly one of the cruelest ways to punish a vibrant, energetic, full of life child of around twelve years of age is to hold them captive and make them participate in singing lessons. That was the last thing on this beautiful God-given planet that I wanted to do. About the only thing that could make it worse would be if your step-father was the teacher. Well, that was the plight in which I found myself.
My step-father’s name was Mr. Tharp, at least, that what I called him to his face; I won’t mention what I called him to his back. He was a very old man; he was in his sixties when my mother married him and he seemed ancient to me. (I still think Mom married him just because he had an inside toilet). He was an old farmer, very old fashioned, sternly of the old school of mind and very fussy. I think he spent more time agitated with my niece and me than anything else. (Of course, looking back over our lives together, we provided him with plenty of things to be agitated about.) We took for our own personal use just about everything that was his including his tools, his wheel barrow, his mules; nothing was sacred. And most of the time, whatever we took would wind up broken, left out in the rain or some other misfortune would come to it. But the part of him that I hadn’t remembered until recently is that he was a music teacher. My step-father had sat at feet of such men as Virgil Stamps, of the Stamps-Baxter quartet, in singing schools. He had taken the knowledge he gained from singing schools and applied it wherever and whenever he could. He had conducted singing classes in church any time that he was allowed or encouraged to. He enjoyed singing and most of all he enjoyed teaching singing. The problem was, when it came to me, he had a very unwilling student. I remember many days when I sat in our living room singing the scale over and over…do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, do. I sat there trying to recognize half notes from quarter notes on his chalk board and hoping to guess them correctly so I could escape that much more quickly and get on with my life. I would look out the screen door and my faithful old dog would be looking in, panting and wondering why I wasn’t coming out to play and explore new and exciting things with him and, of course, that made me want to go even more. After multiple looks at the doors or yawns of boredom and slouching down as far as I could in my chair to make it obvious how I felt, Mr. Tharp would finally give up in frustration and tell me to go. I would burst out the door running with my dog, on to the next adventure in the expanse of the many fields that were our farm.
A few days ago, I was called upon to sing at a memorial service for someone in our small community. I have been asked to do such things over the years, but with this one particularly, there was a song that I didn’t know; actually had never heard. The song wasn’t that difficult and I was to sing harmony. A friend helping out with the song, leaned over to me and said, “I’ll just follow your lead!” We engaged in a quiet conversation at that point and I found out that she had always wanted music lessons when she was a child and her family couldn’t afford them. My friend and I are about the same age and the thought struck me, I had within my own house where I lived what she had wanted so desperately as a child and couldn’t have. Yet, I didn’t want to take the time to appreciate it. All I can think now is, “Thank you, Mr. Tharp”.

Barbara Kelly's Reflections on Life - Entry One

Life can be quite coincidental. In February of 1978, I entered the only hospital that was located in Osceola, Arkansas having a miscarriage. It was a sad occasion indeed made more so by our excitement and readiness for a baby. The hospital was extremely small, and while private rooms had not yet been conceived of in that part of the world, my first night there I was fortunate enough not to have a roommate. Shortly after that first night, the life that might have been was gone and we were left to deal with the loss in the best way that our young hearts could. I had plenty of Job’s comforters to come by with “comfort” and advice telling me such things as, “it’s for the best, you know, after all it might have been deformed in some way”. (My husband has always told me, and I quite agree with him, that people need to have lessons on hospital visitation and what not to say when visiting patients). Nevertheless, we each have our own unique ways of dealing with sadness and anxiety and the best way for me then, and even now to some extent, is to be alone. And when I say alone, that doesn’t exclude my husband. Even then, we were such a part of each other that it didn’t feel right when we weren’t together. By the second day, after a D & C and with the help of drugs that made the room spin, I was doing all right with my sadness and frustration. By late afternoon, nurses rushed into the room rolling a bed with a woman on it. Oh no, a roommate! That was the last thing in the world that I wanted! But ready or not, and whether I wanted it or not, here she came. She was a very young black woman and she was exhausted having just given birth. After nurses got her settled in, we were alone. This had really messed things up for me because now my husband couldn’t stay with me tonight. And to be honest, the last thing that I wanted was someone happily talking about the baby they had just given birth to, although she had every right in the world to be happy. One of the first questions from her was, “what did you have?” I told her a miscarriage. She just said, “Oh”. What else was there to say? A few moments elapsed and I said, “And you?” She told me she had had a little boy. This short attempt at conversation seemed to break the awkward silence between us and we engaged in amiable conversation thereafter. Time passed and eventually, the door of the room opened. A nurse entered bringing the woman’s baby for her to hold, feed and get to know. I remember thinking he was the cutest thing I thought I’d ever seen. Plump little cheeks, dark eyes and the prettiest shade of skin a baby could have. I asked the girl what his name was to which she replied, “I don’t know; I haven’t named him.”
The following day, during one of the baby’s several visits to our room, the mother asked if I wanted to hold him. I told her that I’d love to. He was so sweet and it felt so good to hold him. I remember thinking; one day… I gave the baby back after a while and the mother looked at me and surprised me with a question, “What’s a good name for a boy?” It took me by surprise and I just looked at her for a moment wondering if she was seriously asking me what to name her baby. After I concluded that she was, I replied, “I don’t know…I’ve always sort of liked the name Christopher.” She repeated the name a couple of times and looked down at the baby and said, “How do you like the name Christopher?” She looked back up at me smiling and said, “I really like that name. That’s what I am going to call him”.
As I write this, I wonder what has happened to that Christopher that I only knew for a short couple of days. Did he live all of his life in that small Arkansas town; did he play sports when he was in high school; did he go to college? Did he grow up and have a family of his own? It has been thirty years since I held and helped name that baby boy. My Christopher, our third child, celebrated his twentieth birthday last week.

AN ENCORE!
My wife and I go to the fair for three things: #3 – to look at the exhibits; #2 – to eat a sausage dog; #1 – to eat a funnel cake. (Sausage dogs and funnel cakes just don’t taste as good anywhere else.)

The preceding is true – until this year. This year, for the first time, we took our grandson, Thomas. He will be 2 in just a few days. All of a sudden all of the lights were brighter, and the cows bigger, and the circus more fun: just watching the pure joy on his face as we looked at the pigs, or bunny rabbits, or horses.

He had gone a few days before with his parents, and we knew he loved the circus. We took him back. He had told us about the clown and the car that went “boom.” He would lay his head to the side, like the clown that was blown off the car, but then he would put up his little hands and say, “Okay.” This, of course, meant that the clown was Okay despite the boom. He couldn’t wait to see the car again. The first time he went, however, it was so hot that they did not stay to see the elephants. This time we did, and he was so amazed as the “funts” came out and we could almost touch them. He told me several times “big funt.”

After the circus we went and got our funnel cakes, and he dug in and ate a large chunk of one. We found a seat right near the shark exhibit. Thomas and I finished before MawMaw, so we walked over to see the live sharks. We were looking intently at them, when he realized that MawMaw was not with us. He looked over where she sat, and said, “’Mon MawMaw, mon.” He just thought it was awful that she was missing out on such an exciting moment. Next year, when he is almost three, I hope that his mom and dad will let us watch him as he begins to ride the rides for the first time.

Through it all, it made me think of the joy of watching a little one’s pure pleasure at the simplest things. It made me remember what made the fair truly fun, not what we did at the fair, but what our little ones did. Of course, our “little ones” are pushing 20, 27, and 30 as I write this. So, this was kind of like performing, and enjoying the performance, but then being called for an encore. Maybe that is part of what makes grandparenting so special – it is like the encore performance. It is less complicated than the original, but is just as enjoyable. Now I really look forward to the fair next year, and it means more than just the food (Hey, I didn’t say the food would be left out!).

I love the phone calls and hearing the little voice saying, “Hi, PawPaw.” I love to hear the excitement when he is expecting to see me and he does. It tickles me to hear him say, “PawPaw peach” when I am in the pulpit. He brings unadulterated pleasure into our hearts.

I never knew an encore could be so great!

Kelly's Korner Komment and Komplaint

KELLY’S KORNER KOMPLAINT
You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me!
Did you know that you are guilty of causing others to have Kidney Stones? Your driving your car, combined with bovine flatulence, and having children, that is.
Kidney Stones Tied to Global Warming
By Dan Vergano,
USA Today
Posted: 2008-07-15 16:06:52
Filed Under: Health News, Science News
(July 15) -- Global warming could do more than hurt polar bears: It could force a rise in kidney stones, scientists warned Monday."We see a relationship between kidney stones and temperatures everywhere," says study co-author Margaret Pearle of the University of Texas Southwestern Medical School in Dallas. "Even in places with air conditioning, warmer temperatures mean more stones."

As I read this article it amazed me how much speculation is involved in these wild comments about global warming:
The kidney stone finding, reported Monday by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, combines the panel's projections of higher U.S. temperatures with Medicare and Veterans Administration health records stretching from 1982 to 2005 to estimate how many extra U.S. kidney stone cases will result from global warming.
And of course they are very congratulatory about their combination of fiction with maybe a little fact:
"Everyone in warmer temperatures is at higher risk for kidney stones, so the findings make perfect sense," says nephrologist David Goldfarb of New York University Medical Center, who was not part of the study. "What's so impressive about this study is how they've brought together models of warming and kidney stones for the first time."
Now, take note of these words from Apologetics Press, an article entitled, “Cows, Kids, and CO2” by Dr. Dave Miller (http://www.apologeticspress.org/articles/3365 ):
A 400-page United Nations Food and Agricultural Organization report has identified rapidly growing herds of cattle as the greatest threat to the environment (Lean, 2006). We are told that the 1.5 billion cattle of the Earth are responsible for 18% of the greenhouse gases that cause global warming—more than cars, planes, and all other forms of transportation combined. More than a third of the greenhouse gas, methane (which warms the world 20 times faster than carbon dioxide), is emitted by cows and their manure. And it’s not just methane, since cattle also produce more than 100 other polluting gases, including more than two-thirds of the world’s emissions of ammonia—one of the main causes of acid rain (Lean, 2006). That’s right, gaseous expulsions by cows do more to damage the planet than cars. The environmentalists are beside themselves.
Miller goes on to state:
But it doesn’t stop there. While it is common for environmentalists to blame mankind as the prime perpetrator of environmental destruction, now one environmentalist insists that, more specifically, children are significant culprits in the human assault on the natural order. Parents, we are told, should limit their offspring to no more than two children in order to reduce carbon dioxide output. The report published by the environmentalist group, Optimum Population Trust, insists that the greatest thing one could do to help the future of the planet would be to have one less child (Templeton, 2007).
So, maybe if we got rid of all the cows and all the kids things would be better, do you think? Actually that has been basically suggested by Dr. Eric R. Pianka, “the University of Texas evolutionary ecologist and lizard expert who the Academy named the 2006 Distinguished Texas Scientist,” (http://www.apologeticspress.org/articles/3740 ) that to save the world 90% of the population should be eliminated, possibly by intentionally using a deadly virus (see documentation at the URL provided above).
Miller continues:
The arrogance of measly man thinking he can control the forces of nature by his paltry tinkering with the created order—as if he even had the knowledge and wisdom to do so. Ultimately, this feeble, faltering faux pas manifests willful ignorance and a lack of faith in the Creator. The environmentalists need a healthy dose of spiritual reality—the same one Job received when he thought it necessary to question God’s superintendence of the Universe (Job 38:2-5,21; 40:2,14)…. When humans eliminate God from their thinking and jettison the biblical worldview, insanity begins to sound sensible. That’s the real “inconvenient truth.”
I have stated many times that I believe that we are responsible for taking care of this world that God has given us, and has put under us (Genesis 1:26-27). But too many are being sold an empty barrel of foolishness based on a denial of God. And that is my Kelly’s Korner Komplaint for today.
P.S. You can check out many great topics concerning God, Atheism, etc. at http://www.apologeticspress.org/.

INNOCENCE - Monkey Dan and Little Man

Monkey Dan and Little Man

Hold on, Monkey Dan, keep him company

While he takes a break from all his activity,

While he dreams the dreams of a toddler's mind,

Of Mommy, Daddy, and animals of every kind.

He has been so busy just exploring things,

That this great big world just to him brings,

He saw a bird flying high into a tree,

He saw a lizard as green as it could be.

He sings the songs he hears in his own special way

And he gains more knowledge every day,

But there with Monkey Dan in the midst of sleep,

I pray that God will this little one keep.

I look at his little face so sweet,

His little arms, his little hands and feet,

And a picture as plain as it can possibly be,

Of innocence, that is what I truly see.

So many things will do their very best

To give that innocent little heart unrest;

Right now he has a heart that is pure and clean,

May it never be filled with what's dirty and mean.

Right now he can hold onto Monkey Dan,

And he is definitely our Little Man,

But may we always teach him the way

To keep innocence in his life each day.

So, for now, Hold on Monkey Dan, keep him company,

While he takes a break from all his activity;

While he dreams the dreams of a toddler's mind,

And may there alwasy be love there for him to find.

Love, PawPaw

Partner and "Completer"

I think the biblical phrase "help-meet" carries the idea of one who is a partner and one without whom you would simply be incomplete. Let me tell you what I am talking about.

I just finished a run of the play Lil' Abner. My son Chris was in it and my daughter, Carol Leah, was in it. My son-in-law did some artwork for the play. My wife worked most nights in the concession stand. It was truly a family activity.

However, my wife played a different major role for me. She heard my lines so much that if I had become unable to perform, I think she could have taken my place. Each night of the play we would ride from Montgomery to Millbrook (where the play was), and we would go over my lines and my songs. We would sing them all the way there. One night she was unable to do this with me. That night I stumbled on a couple of songs that I had not been stumbling on. (We won't talk about opening night, however.) She said that she was a lot more nervous than I was when I got on stage, and that she would be all tensed up, just wishing for me a good performance, and that I would be able to remember the words (something that was a chore at times for me.)

As I thought about this I couldn't help but reflect on how important she is to my life. She has always been there, at least the nearly 33 years we've been married. Most of the time in our lives if a mistake is made with finances, or other things, it has been because of something that I have done. She has always been there, and has always found a way to make it for us.

One time, several years ago, she was asked who her best friend was. She answered, having never really thought about it in those terms before, "Dean is." And it is true. We have had friends all through the years. We love our children beyond the ability to express it. But we have always been best friends to one another. For us that is not a platitude, it is a reality.

Do we ever get angry with one another? We are two different people sharing a life together, sure we get angry with one another. Do we ever hurt the other one's feelings? Do we --- you get the point, we are like any best friends - even in disagreement we never waver in caring for each other, and loving each other.

I know this. I cannot imagine life without her. I honestly believe that God knew I could not make it without her, so He gave her to me.

She is my wife. She is my best friend. She is my completer. And our love grows stronger even after 33 years together.

Just some thoughts from the mind of Kelly's Korner.

There is a Big Old World Out There!

I look through the window and I see so many things. The sea, the sand, the birds flying in rings,
I put my hands on the glass and wish I could go
Out there, right now, I'd be enjoying it so.
Adventures are waiting, out there in the sand,
I'll put my hat on, with shovel firmly in hand,
I'll march down the beach with a determined gait,
Till I get to the water, and that's when I'll wait.

I like the ocean, as long as it's not touching me,

If I can just see it up close, well then happy I'll be;
But right now I just stand, looking out this window,
At all of the wonders that I see down just below.





I'm here, look at me, an adventure for sure,
Walking's not easy, but I will endure!
The wind, the sounds, they fill up my mind,
While I go looking for every seashell I find.
Have you ever seen such a beautiful place?
Have you ever felt the wet wind tickling your face?
Have you ever just fallen face first in the sand,
And pretended that went exactly as planned?
Have you ever felt the sand as it squished through your toes?There's no other feeling like it in the world I suppose!
With my head fully covered with my fisherman's hat,
I stand here thinking, what could be better than that.






But it is so much better when Daddy is there,
Holding my hand as we go everywhere,
I know I won't fall if beside me he walks,
'Cause I can hear the love in his voice when he talks.
The sand streches on as far as I can see,
But I won't get lost if Daddy's with me,
The beach is so wonderful if there's someone to share,
All the marvels that surround you, everywhere.
I have to step high to match where he goes,
Someday I'll be big like he is, I suppose,
But right now I'm just glad that he's holding my hand,
'Cause it is really hard walking so far in this sand!



A kiss from Mamma, I pretend I don't care,
But she is the one that I want everywhere,
She makes all the "boo-boos" just go away, I know that beside me she will always stay;
She holds me so tight whenever I cry,
I feel safe when I know she's standing by.
I guess from my standpoint I'd have to say,
"Mamma," I would define love in that way,
So now we are enjoying, together you see,
The sand, the sky, the breeze and the sea,
We've run, and we've played, and rested some to,
And we do enjoy all the things that we do,
Me, Mamma, and Daddy the beach we did share,
Course, our life is special any time, anywhere.

Now a note from PawPaw to you little one, Your sun is just rising, your life's just begun;
In the steps of your dad make sure you walk ,
Listen to what he says each time he does talk;
Hold close to your heart your mother's love,
A precious gift to you from up above.
And Meemaw and Pawpaw, what can I say,
You are like sunshine that brightens our day;
Above all remember Who made that beach,
Follow Him in all your actions, life, and speech.
May many more sunrises make your days bright,
Full of love and care, and His marvelous light.

All pictures are stolen from my daughter's blog site: http://www.carolleah.blogspot.com/ If you get a chance check it out.

Kelly's Korner Komments: Dreams

Kelly’s Korner Komments
Dreams
Sorry, Mr. Freud. I just have to say that I really don’t think that you or anyone else, including your disciples, can truly explain why we dream what we do. The old mind just jumbles together so many thoughts and emotions and an inexplicable menagerie of images, memories, fears, and anticipations. You can awake with tears, shaking in emotion; or maybe sweating in fear with your heart racing uncontrollably; or any of a whole gamut of emotions and feelings. Sometimes you can remember the dream vividly, and sometimes you just have the feelings left with no real recollection of what caused them. The dreams of our sleep are amazing, beautiful, and sometimes scary.
But, then there are the dreams of our waking hours to consider. I am not sure that those dreams are any more easily explained. Dreams of future glory; dreams of accomplishments; dreams of love won and kept; the dreams that lives wind up being built on.
One of the saddest characters ever on TV, for me, is one that young folks won’t even know about. It was a character played by Carol Burnett on her TV show. Her show was humorous as a whole, but this one character, a part of a family (Mamma’s Family grew from this section of her show) was one that you could not help but feel sorry for. She has all of these dreams about getting out, about being a star, about success, but she was thwarted on every hand by her mother and bum of a husband, and other relatives. You could not help but feel the frustration this character had as you watched.
The other day we watched a movie about a young black girl who won the national spelling bee. Again, at first, her mother and all the people in her neighborhood, including her best friend, said that she could not reach her dream. Eventually they all became her fans, and helped her succeed in her dream.
As a parent you have to watch your children face their dreams. Sometimes you don’t like their dreams, for one reason or the other. A lot of times you don’t like them because you are afraid for them: afraid they will fail, afraid they will be physically hurt; afraid they will have their hearts broken, or their dreams crushed. It may be one of the hardest things for a parent to know how to deal with.
I have drawn one conclusion. In my limited wisdom and experience: I have decided that it may be better to let the one you love take the chance of failure, than to never chase his/her dreams. They may fail. They may get hurt, physically or emotionally. But they can always say that I chased my dream.
Dreams – who can explain them. They can be wonderful and they can be cruel, but we will have an empty life if we don’t have them.
Just my thoughts – my Kelly’s Korner Komment for now.

That's Easy for You to Say

That’s Easy For You To Say!

I live a wonderful life, I really do,
I have my problems, but really they are few;
I do not dread the dawning of each new day;
I know – “That’s easy for you to say!”

Yes it is- it is easy for me to say,
I have a mate whose love is here to stay,
I have children to give love so dear,
I can live without eternal fear.

I have the normal apprehensions in life,
All the normal tensions and occasional strife;
I have felt pain, and shed many a tear,
I know that with each day death draws ever near.

I fight physical battles and emotional foes,
I don’t have all the answers, Heaven surely knows;
Despite all that, I always grateful will be,
For the wonderful life God has given me.

Yes I know- it is easy for me to say,
I have a mate whose love is here to stay,
I have children to give love so dear,
I can live without eternal fear.

I haven’t always chosen the way that’s best,
I’m often weary, just lacking of rest;
If I could I probably would change some things,
Each thing that it seems the most trouble brings.

But actually, to be honest and true,
The things I’d change would be very few;
And most things I would never change at all,
Because changing one thing might make everything fall.

I’m so glad I married, though I am not the best mate,
I’m not sure she understood how she sealed her fate,
Or what she did when she said “I Do!”
But I will always love her, that is completely true.

I’m glad we had our children, headaches and all;
Though it is sometimes so hard to watch them fall,
To feel so helpless, when the only recourse is to pray,
And hope they’ll survive, and walk a faithful way.

I live a wonderful life, I really do,
I have my problems, but really they are few;
I do not dread the dawning of each new day;
I know – “That’s easy for you to say!”

Yes it is- it is easy for me to say,
I have a mate whose love is here to stay,
I have children to give love so dear,
I can live without eternal fear.
E. Dean Kelly 2/20/08